Should you wish to contact the Biscuit Appreciation Society, there are many ways you can go about this simple task. These are listed below:

The best way to get in contact with us is to use e-mail, our address is biscuits@biscuit.org.uk. Please use this as your primary form of contact, as the other methods usually have very limited success.

We realise that not everyone possesses the technological equipment expected for communications in the new millennium, and in this case, you can use pigeon post. Since pigeons have a telepathic ability for locating biscuits, we often find that our Headquarters is plagued by pigeons clamouring for a peck at our tasty delights. Simply attach your message to the pigeons foot (to avoid cruelty to the pigeon, please limit packages to 1Kg or less) and tell it to "go find the biscuits".

You can also facsimile device to send your message, although we recommend that you do not try to send biscuits using this method, as we have found that this often results in the non-functioning of our facsimile machine.

Many people have asked us how they can get instant answers to plaguing biscuit questions, and for this purpose we are training 3 of our members as telepaths, although when this service becomes available, we are anticipating that it will be so popular that many people will have to be put in a queue due to high demand. We are also looking into a way to send biscuits reliably using this method, as getting our telepathic members to eat them usually results in the digestion rather than the transmission of the biscuits.

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