may think that buying biscuits is an ordinary and trivial task. Well,
think again - we aim to may you think twice before just picking any packet
of biscuits off the supermarket shelf.
Knowing your biscuit:
How much do you know about the biscuit you are considering buying?
you know whether it is imported?
Many imported biscuits have often been subjected to tampering with toothpicks
and other such implements. According to our sources at Rank Imports
Ltd, many a biscuit has been tampered with before it reaches its final
destination. This reached the very heart of the biscuit appreciation
society, and we immediately started a world wide investigation. This
investigation is still continuing, however, at this point we can only
speculate as to how many biscuits have had to endure unduly tampering.
you know the batch number of your biscuit?
A member of the biscuit appreciation organisation recently set off from
London on a day excursion to Seattle. On visiting a tourist shop, he
discovered a tourist biscuit set. The set was typical, with engraved
names of the local towns and important sights. Upon further inspection,
however, she discovered that not only was one of the biscuits a shade
lighter than the rest, but the batch number was incredibly high. This
may seem unimportant to many citizens, but to a member of the biscuit
appreciation organisation, it was just another home truth of the sheer
commercialisation of biscuits today. In laymen's terms, a high batch
number means that there have been a large amount of that particular
biscuit manufactured. Although we should point out that this isn't always
the case: it has been found on some occasions, that the manufacturers
have "fiddled" batch numbers in order to make it look as if the biscuit
is very popular, when in fact it has not been the case.
you know the preference of your biscuit?
Whilst this may seem a strange question, it is in fact a very common
one amongst biscuit appreciators alike. Some biscuits are simply made
for eating with no other condiments, whilst others are designed for
what is commonly known as "dunking".
"Dunking" is a very common practice amongst the lower and working class
of Britain (also see the Vicars' Tea
Party section of the web site), although unduly frowned upon by
members of the middle and upper class. We at the biscuit appreciation
organisation do not frown upon this activity: in fact we encourage it
to a certain extent. Simply put, some biscuits were made for dunking.
Some of our members have had the exciting opportunity to look at the
manufacturers' specifications for some of the leading biscuits. In some
cases, the specification clearly marks the biscuit for "DUNKING", whilst
others are more subdued with the fact. Dunking is discussed in more
detail in the "Biscuits for dunking"
section of this web site.
you know the sell by date of your biscuit?
This is possibly the most common thing to check with the casual biscuit
purchaser, and it is also one of the most important - although for reasons
that many may not have yet even considered. A biscuit confectioner,
such as a member of the biscuit organisation, knows only too well that
a biscuit or packet of, with a long sell-by date is a must. Not only
because it means that the biscuit is more likely to taste fresher upon
packet entry (as it is called amongst the trade), but because biscuits
are unlike fine wines. A connoisseur of biscuits knows that a good quality
biscuit should be enjoyed slowly, not devoured in the least time possible.
Therefore, a long sell/use-by date is essential.